Adventures in Hedonism

It’s a wonder that this awesome little movie came to our Bible Belt town.  We didn’t get the movie Choke, nor did we get Religilous….but by some miracle of the gods, we did get to see Kevin Smith’s newest adventure.

This movie was fun from the get go and the cast was amazing.  I mean, come on, Traci Lords as a porn star!  Perfect!

We laughed, we chuckled, we saw Jason Mews’ asshole and cock (again).  All in all it was a great night.

I would reccommend that everyone sees this movie.  It was rated NC17 before Kevin Smith talked it down to an R rating.  Mainly for grossness and some silly nudity, though.

Go see it!

After a tough couple of days and a night of vigorous drinking and vicious make up sex, I thought this article might be a good idea. How to avoid throwing up during rough, drunken sex:

1. Close your eyes and stop the spinning.  This way, it feels more like you’re on Space Mountain, and less like you’re inside the Large Hadron Particle Collider.

2. Manage nausea by switching positions.  If you’re feeling like you might lose your cookies, switch to a different position that involves less stomach churning.

3. Don’t stop.  Whatever you do, don’t stop.  Stopping lets your brain catch up with your body, making it difficult to concentrate on how good the sex is instead of how it feels like someone is furiously mixing ice and hot coffee inside your stomach.

4. If all esle fails, drink more.  It will confuse the system and at least buy you a little more time to get down and dirty.

A recent study by the Centers for Disease Control has found that one in four teenage girls has an STD. Over the last 8 years the abstinence only programs in the U.S. have been spreading like wildfire…or…like chlamydia. Clearly they are not working. These findings are disturbing, especially in the U.S. where STD’s can be easily prevented.

Not only is telling a teenager not to have sex before marriage like telling an asthmatic patient to hold his breath for the next 5 years, it’s also alarmingly self righteous. Concerned citizens who are pushing abstinence only education are fooling themselves, and I would place all my money in the bank on the fact that most of these abstinence pushers had sex before marriage themselves.

Living in north Louisiana, I live in what is considered to be the “buckle” of the Bible Belt. I see everyday the harm that childhood indoctrination is doing to our children and teenagers. They are taught daily to have so much guilt that their shame of being a sinner comes between them and their physical health. They would rather silently suffer the consequences of having a disease than to admit to their parents that they have had sex before marriage and failed in the eyes of God.

Teenagers have had sex since the beginning of time and there’s no way that they are stopping now. Had these teenagers been taught the proper way to use a condom, these diseases would not be so widespread. Teens need to have a safe and confidential way to purchase birth control and be tested regularly for STD’s, while not feeling ashamed for trying to protect their own health. Teaching them that the only safe way to avoid an STD is abstinence is akin to telling a person that the only cure for their disease is on the planet Mars. The cure exists, but the chances of reaching it are nearly hopeless.

There ARE ways to prevent STD’s. But the emphasis is not on teaching how to prevent, but in teaching morality in the forms of guilt and shame. Parents who advocate abstinence only sex education are putting their own rights of childhood indoctrination over the physical and mental well being of their own children.