Oct 27 2008
How to Avoid Throwing Up During Rough, Drunken Sex (a tutorial)
After a tough couple of days and a night of vigorous drinking and vicious make up sex, I thought this article might be a good idea. How to avoid throwing up during rough, drunken sex:
1. Close your eyes and stop the spinning. This way, it feels more like you’re on Space Mountain, and less like you’re inside the Large Hadron Particle Collider.
2. Manage nausea by switching positions. If you’re feeling like you might lose your cookies, switch to a different position that involves less stomach churning.
3. Don’t stop. Whatever you do, don’t stop. Stopping lets your brain catch up with your body, making it difficult to concentrate on how good the sex is instead of how it feels like someone is furiously mixing ice and hot coffee inside your stomach.
4. If all esle fails, drink more. It will confuse the system and at least buy you a little more time to get down and dirty.
